Understanding Codependency and How Loved Ones May Enable the Problem Gambler

Septiembre es el Mes Nacional de Concientización sobre la Prevención del Suicidio: Examinando el Juego Compulsivo como una Causa Raíz


When we think of codependency, many relate it to an addiction like drugs and alcohol. Problem gambling is another addiction that can lead to codependency, and a family may find themselves behaving in ways to support the gambler and pushing their own wants and needs aside. It is important to know that the 888-ADMIT-IT Problem Gambling HelpLine in Florida is there not only for the problem gambler, but also for loved ones.

A key difference from an addiction to drugs or alcohol is that gambling disorder is a hidden addiction. The household knows if someone comes home high or drunk by sight and smell. With compulsive gambling, these physical signs are not present, so not only are any associated mood changes misunderstood – the addiction may have progressed to damaging levels by the time anyone knows there is a problem. Part of co-dependency and enabling is when a spouse, parent, child, or friend may find himself or herself keeping the secret as well, hoping not to anger the gambler and start a fight. They may cover for the time lost or any financial problems that arise to keep the family together.

When you are the victim of the behavior, it is black and white; when you are the perpetrator, there are a million shades of gray.

– Dr. Laura Shlesinger

Codependency, also known as relationship addiction, takes place when one person believes it’s their job to “save” another person by attending to all their needs. A codependent person builds their identity around this purpose and takes on a self-sacrificial role in the relationship.[1] Enmeshment is the inappropriate closeness of family members. In an enmeshed and over-involved relationship, individuals get lost in the relationship. There is a clear lack of boundaries, thus each individual has difficulty developing a clear sense of self.[2]

Common signs of co-dependency include:

  • A deep-seated need for approval from others
  • Self-worth that depends on what others think about you
  • A habit of taking on more work emotionally and physically than you can realistically handle, in an effort to earn praise or lighten a loved one’s burden
  • Avoiding conflict
  • A tendency to apologize or take blame in order to keep the peace and minimize or ignore your own desires
  • Overwhelming fear of rejection or abandonment

You are Not Alone

You are not alone in your feelings and actions and since pathological lying can be a side effect of the addiction, trust is broken, and it may seem impossible to make any changes. Rebuilding trust may take months or years, or it may never happen. Creating a healthy emotional distance from a troubled loved one is necessary and beneficial for the codependent partner. It is a way to expose the compulsive gambler to the negative consequences of their behaviors. Before any change can happen in the relationship, the codependent person needs to change their patterns and behaviors. Here’s how to start healthy dependence for yourself:

  • Set and maintain healthy boundaries
  • Validate and protect yourself emotionally and financially
  • Give thought to the fact that codependency may be rooted in childhood relationships with parents or other caregivers
  • Contact the 888-ADMIT-IT HelpLine to get connected to free resources like the FCCG’s A Chance for Change Recovery Workbooks series for loved ones, self-help support groups specifically for loved ones of problem gamblers, and many more

Can You Walk Away?

Have a loved one who can’t walk away from gambling? Don’t know how to break the cycle of codependency? If you are a family member looking for answers and support, call or text the FCCG’s 24/7, Confidential, and Multilingual 888-ADMIT-IT Problem Gambling HelpLine today to take the first step on the path to recovery.

[1] The 5 Core Issues of Codependency. PRIORY, 2023.
https://www.priorygroup.com/blog/the-five-core-issues-of-co-dependence.

[2] Raypole, Crystal. What Are the Signs of Codependency? PsychCentral, June 10, 2021.
https://psychcentral.com/lib/symptoms-signs-of-codependency



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El Significado Emocional del Dinero y un Ciclo Trágico Disfrazado

Septiembre es el Mes Nacional de Concientización sobre la Prevención del Suicidio: Examinando el Juego Compulsivo como una Causa Raíz


La sociedad nos ha inculcado creencias y valores falsos e insanos sobre nuestra relación y mal uso del dinero, llegando al punto de avergonzarnos. Nos enseñan a no hablar de dinero: es un asunto personal. Desde la infancia, nos transmiten creencias y valores sobre el dinero por parte de quienes nos rodean, a menudo sin comprender completamente cómo esto moldea nuestra relación con él. El juego compulsivo consume dinero y lleva a las personas afectadas a perder cualquier respeto o conexión con él.

La relación de una persona con el dinero puede cambiar a lo largo de su vida y cuando el juego problemático es un factor, esto es un eufemismo. El dinero puede generar incomodidad emocional, lo que a su vez puede llevar a los jugadores compulsivos a deshacerse de él lo más rápido posible, apostándolo, lo que con el tiempo puede desencadenar una reacción en cadena de problemas financieros, conflictos en las relaciones, ansiedad, depresión, problemas legales e incluso pensamientos suicidas.

Para alguien que sufre de juego problemático, el dinero es solo un medio para obtener la emoción que necesita del juego. Muchos jugadores compulsivos explican esto como “no tener ningún apego al dinero” mientras apuestan. No tienen conocimiento de cuánto han gastado, ganado o perdido y ya no se trata del dinero, ni siquiera de la victoria, se trata simplemente de seguir involucrados. Los jugadores problemáticos también experimentan distorsiones cognitivas (“pensamiento mágico”), que generan expectativas poco realistas para el juego, como creer que tienen control sobre los resultados del mismo o verlo como una solución a problemas financieros.

Tener acceso al dinero es un desencadenante para apostar, por lo tanto, establecer barreras al dinero puede ayudar en el camino hacia la recuperación del juego compulsivo. Encontrar formas de bloquearte cuando estás experimentando un impulso puede ser efectivo, y contar con información sobre los Programas de Autoexclusión de Acceso a Efectivo disponibles a través de la Línea de Ayuda 888-ADMIT-IT pueden ser fundamentales para lograr el éxito. Aquí tienes algunas cuestiones en las que puedes reflexionar:

  • ¿Cómo puedes limitar tu acceso al dinero en cualquier momento?
  • ¿Cuándo recibirás tu próximo pago? ¿Se depositará automáticamente?
  • ¿Cuál puede ser un plan de seguridad para bloquear tu acceso?
  • ¿Cuánto necesitas realmente en un día? ¿Para un café? ¿Almuerzo? ¿Cena?
  • ¿Cuál es la cantidad mínima de dinero que necesitarías para apostar?

Encuentra una cantidad que cubra tus necesidades diarias y que esté por debajo de la cantidad mínima para apostar. Esa es la suma que deberías llevar contigo. Nadie necesita más de una tarjeta de crédito en todo momento, incluso en caso de emergencias. Recuerda que cuanto menos acceso tengas al dinero contigo en un momento dado, más limitada estará tu capacidad para actuar ante los impulsos de apostar. Los paquetes gratuitos de literatura de autoayuda disponibles a través de la Línea de Ayuda 888-ADMIT-IT, que incluyen los cuadernos de trabajo del FCGG Una Oportunidad para el Cambio, son solo uno de los muchos recursos valiosos que pueden ayudarte a establecer y seguir un plan realista para superar los problemas relacionados con el juego compulsivo.

“El Arte de Salir del Agujero” es Realmente un Ciclo Trágico Disfrazado

¿Sabías que existe una segunda, y especialmente peligrosa, “euforia” asociada al juego compulsivo? Este fenómeno conocido como “el arte de salir del agujero”, representa el desafío y la emoción de salir de una situación provocada por el juego problemático. Las emociones y la dopamina, la hormona del “bienestar” que forma parte del sistema de recompensa del cerebro, se disparan hasta que el jugador problemático logra “salir del agujero”, ya sea persiguiendo pérdidas, recibiendo ayuda financiera de un amigo o familiar, o cometiendo un delito como fraude o robo. Este estado elevado también puede desencadenar otro episodio de juego y así comienza nuevamente este ciclo peligroso.

¿Puedes Escapar?

¿Puedes escapar? ¿Puede hacerlo un ser querido? La ayuda y el apoyo confidencial y multilingüe están disponibles las 24 horas, los 7 días de la semana en la Florida a través de la Línea de Ayuda para el Juego Compulsivo 888-ADMIT-IT. Acceder a recursos gratuitos es tan fácil como llamar o enviar un mensaje de texto al número de la Línea de Ayuda, iniciar un chat en vivo en gamblinghelp.org o enviarnos un correo electrónico a [email protected]. La recuperación es posible y hay tratamientos disponibles.



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The Emotional Meaning of Money and a Tragic Cycle in Disguise

Septiembre es el Mes Nacional de Concientización sobre la Prevención del Suicidio: Examinando el Juego Compulsivo como una Causa Raíz


Society has taught us unhealthy false beliefs and values about our attachments to and misuse of money, to the point that it becomes shaming. We are taught not to talk about money: it’s personal business. We have been taught beliefs and values about money since childhood from those close to us, often without fully comprehending how that shapes our relationship with it. Compulsive gambling takes money and causes impacted individuals to lose any respect or connection to it.

One’s relationship to money can change over the course of his or her life and when problem gambling is a factor, this is an understatement. Money can be emotionally uncomfortable, which in turn can cause problem gamblers to get rid of it as fast as they can by betting it away, which over time can set off a chain reaction of financial issues, relationship problems, anxiety, depression, legal problems, and even suicidal ideation.

For someone suffering from problem gambling, money is just a vehicle to get the excitement he or she needs from gambling. Many compulsive gamblers explain this as having “no attachment to the money” while gambling. They don’t know how much has been spent, won, or lost, and it’s not about the money or even winning anymore – it’s only about staying in the action. Problem gamblers also experience cognitive distortions (“magical thinking”), which set unrealistic expectations for gambling such as believing they have control over gambling outcomes or looking at gambling as a way to solve financial problems.

Having access to money is a trigger to gamble, so putting up barriers to money can help on the path to recovery from compulsive gambling. Finding ways to block yourself when you are in the middle of a craving can be effective, and referrals to Access to Cash Self-Exclusion Programs available through the 888-ADMIT-IT HelpLine can be instrumental in succeeding. Here are some things to think about:

  • What is your access to money at any moment?
  • When do you get paid next? Is it automatically deposited?
  • What can be a safety plan to block yourself from access?
  • How much do you really need in a day? For coffee? Lunch? Dinner?
  • What is the least amount of money it would take for you to gamble?

Find an amount that covers your needs for the day while still remaining below the least amount to gamble. That is the amount you should carry with you. No one needs more than one credit card with them at any time, even for emergencies. Remember that the less access you have to money on you at one time will help block your ability to act on urges to gamble. The free self-help literature packets available through the 888-ADMIT-IT HelpLine, which include the FCCG’s A Chance for Change Workbooks, are just one of many powerful resources that can help you set and stick to a realistic plan for problem gambling recovery.

“The Art of Digging Yourself Out of the Hole” is Really a Tragic Cycle in Disguise

Did you know that there is a second, especially dangerous “high” associated with compulsive gambling? Known as “the art of digging yourself out of the hole”, this phenomenon represents the challenge and thrill of getting out of a situation brought about by problem gambling. Emotions and dopamine, the “feel-good” hormone that’s part of the brain’s reward system, rush until the problem gambler gets themselves “out of the hole”, whether by chasing losses, getting a financial bailout from a friend or family member, or committing a crime like fraud or theft. This high can also trigger another gambling episode, and the dangerous cycle begins again.

Can You Walk Away?

Can you walk away? Can a loved one? Confidential and multilingual help and hope is available 24/7 in Florida through the 888-ADMIT-IT Problem Gambling HelpLine. Getting connected to free resources is as easy as calling or texting the HelpLine number, opening a live chat at gamblinghelp.org, or emailing us at [email protected]. Recovery is possible, and treatment is available.



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Septiembre es el Mes Nacional de Concientización sobre la Prevención del Suicidio: Examinando el Juego Compulsivo como una Causa Raíz

Septiembre es el Mes Nacional de Concientización sobre la Prevención del Suicidio: Examinando el Juego Compulsivo como una Causa Raíz


Septiembre es el Mes Nacional de Concientización sobre la Prevención del Suicidio. Lamentablemente, los datos provisionales de 2022 revelaron la cifra más alta de muertes anuales por suicidio registrada. Tras ajustarla por el crecimiento de la población y la edad, la tasa de suicidios ha aumentado en un impactante 16% desde 2011 [1].

El FCCG está creando conciencia sobre la relación con el juego problemático, que tiene la tasa de suicidio más alta entre todas las adicciones. Las estadísticas muestran que 1 de cada 5 jugadores compulsivos intentará el suicidio.

En su llamada a la Línea de Ayuda 888-ADMIT-IT, una jugadora compulsiva adicta a las máquinas tragamonedas, informó que comenzó a jugar durante la pandemia de COVID-19 y sabe de varias personas dentro de su comunidad que se han suicidado como resultado del juego desordenado [2].

Primero, ¿por qué están aumentando las tasas de suicidio a nivel nacional? Los expertos aún no han llegado a una conclusión definitiva, pero han señalado la importancia de los síntomas de salud mental durante la pandemia de COVID-19, el aumento de las tensiones financieras (especialmente debido a la creciente inflación) y la dificultad para acceder a la atención de salud mental necesaria [1]. Después del inicio de la pandemia en 2020, el FCCG también destacó sus impactos en los problemas de juego, tal como se observó a través de los contactos con su Línea de Ayuda.

Mas allá de lo que puedan revelar las estadísticas agregadas, el suicidio es una preocupación personal primordial y la ayuda y la esperanza nunca están lejos. Cualquier persona en crisis puede comunicarse con la Línea Nacional de Prevención del Suicidio y la Crisis 988, en cualquier momento del día o la noche.

[IMAGE] September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month: Looking at Problem Gambling as a Root Cause

Una Crisis dentro de una Crisis: El Juego Compulsivo como Causa Raíz

Si el juego problemático es un factor, la causa raíz de las ideas suicidas es una crisis por sí sola que requiere atención urgente. Si se ignora, la adicción al juego llevará a la persona una y otra vez a la crisis, ya sea suicida o de otro tipo, a medida que las presiones aumentan y disminuyen. Por eso, la Línea de Ayuda 888-ADMIT-IT ofrece apoyo y recursos dedicados para los floridanos que sufren esta adicción oculta, las 24/7.

La adicción al juego es única en el sentido de que puede salirse rápidamente de control y causar problemas graves en todas las áreas de la vida, incluyendo la financiera, la relacional, la espiritual, la profesional y la emocional. Cuando una persona se ve atrapada en el juego compulsivo, puede perderse a sí misma, sentir que su vida está completamente fuera de control y concluir que no hay salida. Pero la realidad es que esto no podría estar más lejos de la verdad: ¡la recuperación es posible para aquellos con problemas de juego y el tratamiento está disponible! Cada año, miles de personas encuentran ayuda y esperanza a través de la línea de ayuda 888-ADMIT-IT.

El Informe Anual de la Línea de Ayuda del FCCG, reveló aumentos en todas las áreas relacionadas con la salud mental, emocional y doméstica durante el año, lo cual refleja tanto la magnitud como la gravedad de las dificultades experimentadas por los jugadores con problemas de juego. Los datos anónimos recopilados a partir de los contactos con la Línea de Ayuda 888-ADMIT-IT, revelaron niveles más altos de ansiedad (62%), depresión (63%) y trastornos neurológicos (20%) en comparación con el año anterior. Es importante destacar que casi una cuarta parte (24%) informó haber tenido ideas suicidas o intentos previos por parte del jugador, lo cual refleja un aumento del 50% respecto al año anterior. Al examinar los problemas de salud mental, emocional y doméstica en ambos géneros, los contactos con la Línea de Ayuda este año reportaron niveles más altos de dificultades de salud mental y emocional debido al juego experimentado por mujeres, en comparación con los jugadores hombres, tales como ansiedad y depresión. [2]

¿Sabías que todos los Especialistas de la Línea de Ayuda 888-ADMIT-IT de la Florida reciben Capacitación en Prevención del Suicidio, tanto anualmente como antes de responder a sus primeros contactos en la Línea de Ayuda?

Si tú o alguien que conoces está experimentando pensamientos suicidas como resultado de la adicción al juego, ten en cuenta que estás en manos profesionales si llamas o envías un mensaje de texto a la Línea de Ayuda 888-ADMIT-IT. El suicidio es una respuesta permanente a un problema temporal. Siempre hay una salida a la desesperación que tú o un ser querido puedan sentir.

[1] Saunders, Heather, and Nirmita Panchal. “A Look at the Latest Suicide Data and Change over the Last Decade.” KFF, 21 Aug. 2023, www.kff.org/mental-health/issue-brief/a-look-at-the-latest-suicide-data-and-change-over-the-last-decade/

[2] “2021–2022 24-Hour Problem Gambling Annual HelpLine Report.” Florida Council on Compulsive Gambling, February 2023.



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September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month: Looking at Problem Gambling as a Root Cause

Habilidades de Supervivencia para los Seres Queridos de Jugadores Compulsivos


September is National Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. Sadly, provisional data for 2022 revealed the highest number of annual deaths by suicide on record. After adjusting for population growth and age, the suicide rate has risen by a shocking 16% since 2011. [1]

FCCG is raising awareness about the relation to disordered gambling, which has the highest suicide rate among all addictions. Statistics show that 1 in 5 compulsive gamblers will attempt suicide.

In her call to the 888-ADMIT-IT HelpLine, an addicted female slot machine gambler reported that she started gambling during the COVID-19 pandemic and knows of several people within her community that have committed suicide as a result of disordered gambling. [2]

First, why are suicide rates increasing nationally? Experts have yet to come to a definitive conclusion but noted the significance of mental health symptoms during the COVID-19 pandemic, rising financial stressors (particularly in light of rising inflation), and difficulty in accessing needed mental health care. [1] Following the onset of the pandemic in 2020, FCCG also highlighted its impacts on the issue of problem gambling as observed through contacts to its HelpLine.

Regardless of what the aggregate statistics may reveal, suicide is a personal concern first, and help and hope are never far away. Anyone in crisis can reach the national 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline any time of day or night.

[IMAGE] September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month: Looking at Problem Gambling as a Root Cause

A Crisis within a Crisis: Problem Gambling as the Root Cause

If problem gambling is a factor, the root cause of the suicidal ideation is a crisis of its own which requires urgent attention. If left unaddressed, gambling addiction will lead the individual to back to crisis again and again, whether suicidal or otherwise, as pressures ebb and flow. This is why the 888-ADMIT-IT HelpLine provides dedicated supports and resources for Floridians suffering from this hidden addiction, 24/7.

Gambling addiction is unique in that it can soar out of control rapidly and cause serious problems in all areas of life, including financial, relational, spiritual, career wise, and emotionally. After compulsive gambling takes hold, the affected individual may at times not recognize him or herself anymore, feel like his or her life is completely out of control, and conclude that there is no way out. The reality is this could not be further from the truth: recovery is possible for disordered gambling, and treatment is available. Thousands find help and hope each year through 888-ADMIT-IT!

The FCCG’s HelpLine Annual Report showed increases across all types of mental health, emotional, and domestic areas during the year, reflecting both the magnitude and severity of difficulties experienced by problem gamblers. Anonymized data collected from 888-ADMIT-IT HelpLine contacts revealed higher levels of anxiety (62%), depression (63%), and neurological disorders (20%) compared with the previous year. [2] Of significant note is that almost one-quarter (24%) disclosed suicidal ideations or attempts by the gambler, reflecting a 50% increase from the previous year. When examining mental health, emotional, and domestic problems across genders, HelpLine contacts this year reported higher levels of mental health and emotional difficulties due to gambling experienced by female gamblers, when compared to male gamblers, such as anxiety and depression. [2]

Did you know? All Florida 888-ADMIT-IT HelpLine Specialists complete Suicide Prevention Training, both annually, as well as prior to responding to their first contacts on the HelpLine.

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts as a result of gambling addiction, know you are in professional hands if you call or text the 888-ADMIT-IT HelpLine. Suicide is a permanent response to a temporary problem. There is always a way out of the hopelessness you or a loved one may feel.

[1] Saunders, Heather, and Nirmita Panchal. “A Look at the Latest Suicide Data and Change over the Last Decade.” KFF, 21 Aug. 2023, www.kff.org/mental-health/issue-brief/a-look-at-the-latest-suicide-data-and-change-over-the-last-decade/

[2]“2021–2022 24-Hour Problem Gambling Annual HelpLine Report.” Florida Council on Compulsive Gambling, February 2023.



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Coping Skills for Loved Ones of Compulsive Gamblers

Habilidades de Supervivencia para los Seres Queridos de Jugadores Compulsivos


[IMAGE] Coping Skills for Loved Ones of Compulsive Gamblers

You are not alone! So many families, loved ones, and friends of problem gamblers can be severely mentally, physically, and financially impacted by this hidden addiction. It is crucial that you set boundaries and take care of yourself. Much like when you are watching the safety presentation on an airplane, they say for you to put your own mask on first, because you can’t help others without ensuring your own safety first. Read on to see what you can do for yourself to cope with the stress caused by this addiction and help support the problem gambler in finding recovery.

To begin, it is important to understand that this is not a battle between the loved one and the problem gambler. It’s a battle fought together against the addiction itself. It is important to understand that the addiction itself can dramatically change the behavior and demeanor of the compulsive gambler. You may have already been taken aback by these defense mechanisms acting out, like denial, shifting blame, manipulation, and the side effect of pathological lying. First and foremost, you must keep yourself safe while dealing with this person. The unfortunate reality is that problem gambling can also lead to family neglect and violence. This could mean threatening you verbally, physically, or actually getting violent by throwing things or hitting you. Abuse can also come in the form of gaslighting, meaning they lie or say things to you over and over again until you doubt yourself – simply put; manipulation. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233[1], the Florida Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-500-1119, and the Florida Abuse Hotline is 1-800-962-2873[2] – all are available 24/7. If you are in a situation where you fear for your safety, call 911.

Know that resources tailored to loved ones impacted by problem gambling are available any time of day or night in Florida through the 888-ADMIT-IT HelpLine. Experienced Specialists are standing by and ready to connect you with the GamAnon Self-Help Support Meetings for loved ones of problem gamblers, FCCG’s A Chance for Change Recovery Workbooks for Loved Ones, the FCCG’s Financial Debt & Budgeting Toolkit, counseling referrals from our network of licensed and certified gambling addiction treatment providers, the FCCG’s Peer Connect Program, and so much more. Help and hope are just a call or text away.

Here are a few ways to help yourself through this trying time:

  • Don’t blame yourself: First, you must know you are not to blame for your loved one’s addiction. Protecting yourself and your family from further financial hardships is important. You need to care for yourself and your family. You have no control over the compulsive gambler. You can only encourage the problem gambler to get help by calling the 888-ADMIT-IT HelpLine, and the HelpLine can also support YOU during these challenging times.
  • Take care of yourself: Living with a compulsive gambler can place immense strain on a relationship. This can cause anxiety, depression, and grief. A loved one may over eat, over drink, or over spend in reaction to the problem, attempting to limit the gambler’s access to money by depleting savings – a destructive approach on its own. Loved ones may even think if they go gamble with the affected individual, they can better control the situation, but this simply isn’t true. It is understandable that you may feel at a loss for what to do – and that’s natural. That’s why the 888-ADMIT-IT HelpLine is standing by and ready to connect you with a wide range of resources that address nearly every situation brought about by problem gambling, all without sacrificing your own needs.
  • Focus on your family: In extreme cases, problem gambling can lead to emergency financial problems that threaten basic needs like food and shelter, especially concerning when there are children in the household. If you are already in or fear you are nearing this situation, contact the 888-ADMIT-IT HelpLine immediately for connection to local resources for temporary housing, food banks, and other emergency financial supports. The impacts of gambling addiction can also take a toll on a child’s mental health, as he or she witnesses family arguments, tension, family violence, or breakdown. You can support your children emotionally by encouraging them to share their feelings when they are ready to do so. Be sure they know they are not responsible, and focus on engaging them with group activities and their favorite hobbies.

Reach out for immediate support by calling or texting the 24/7, Confidential, and Multilingual 888-ADMIT-IT Problem Gambling HelpLine, and get connected to resources from highly trained Specialists. It is never too late or too soon to begin your own recovery, as a loved one impacted by problem gambling.

[1] “Safety and Protection.” Florida Department of Children and Families, www.myflfamilies.com/services/abuse. Accessed 30 Aug. 2023.

[2] “National Domestic Violence Hotline.” The Hotline, National Domestic Violence Hotline, 27 Apr. 2023, www.thehotline.org/.



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Podcast – Bob Dancer episode 8

Podcast - Blair Hull episode #4


Bob Dancer is the world’s best known authority on Video Poker, having written many books, and countless articles on the subject. He of course was my cohost and founder of Gambling With an Edge for 12 years. But in this episode we are going back to when he was trying to be a professional backgammon player in the 1970s in Los Angeles, where cheating was a very real danger.

You can reach me at [email protected], or find me on Twitter @RWM21. If you like the show please tell a friend you think might like it, or if you are really ambitious leave a review wherever you listen.

podcast – https://www.spreaker.com/user/7418966/bobdancerep8

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Habilidades de Supervivencia para los Seres Queridos de Jugadores Compulsivos

Habilidades de Supervivencia para los Seres Queridos de Jugadores Compulsivos


[IMAGE] Coping Skills for Loved Ones of Compulsive Gamblers

¡No estás solo! Muchas familias, seres queridos y amigos de jugadores problemáticos pueden verse gravemente afectados mental, física y financieramente por esta adicción oculta. Es crucial que establezcas límites y cuides de ti mismo. Al igual que cuando escuchas las instrucciones de seguridad en un avión, dicen que te pongas tu propia máscara primero, porque no puedes ayudar a los demás sin haber garantizado tu propia seguridad primero. Sigue leyendo este artículo para ver qué puedes hacer por ti mismo para enfrentar el estrés causado por esta adicción y ayudar al jugador compulsivo en su proceso de recuperación.

Para comenzar, es importante entender que esto no es una batalla entre el ser querido y el jugador problemático, es una batalla que se pelea juntos contra la propia adicción. Es importante entender que, la adicción en sí misma puede cambiar drásticamente el comportamiento y el carácter del jugador compulsivo. Es posible que ya te hayas sorprendido por estos mecanismos de defensa, como la negación, la transferencia de culpa, la manipulación y el efecto secundario de la mentira patológica. En primer lugar, debes mantenerte a salvo mientras lidias con esta persona. La triste realidad es que el juego problemático también puede llevar al abandono y a la violencia doméstica. Esto podría significar amenazarte verbalmente, físicamente o incluso volverse violento arrojando objetos o golpeándote. El abuso también puede presentarse en forma de “gaslighting”, lo que significa que mienten o te dicen cosas una y otra vez hasta que dudes de ti mismo, en pocas palabras, manipulación. La Línea Nacional contra la Violencia Doméstica es 1-800-799-7233[1], la Línea de Violencia Doméstica de la Florida es 1-800-500-1119 y la Línea Directa de Abuso de la Florida es 1-800-962-2873[2]. Todas están disponibles las 24 horas del día, los 7 días de la semana. Si te encuentras en una situación en la que temes por tu seguridad, no dudes en llamar al 911.

Ten en cuenta que existen recursos adaptados a seres queridos afectados por el juego compulsivo, disponibles en cualquier momento del día o la noche en la Florida a través de la Línea de Ayuda 888-ADMIT-IT. Especialistas experimentados están listos para conectarte con las reuniones de apoyo de “GamAnon” para seres queridos de jugadores problemáticos, los Cuadernos de Recuperación para seres queridos del FCCG “A Chance for Change”, el Kit de Deuda Financiera y Presupuesto del FCCG, referencias de consejería de nuestra red de proveedores de tratamiento de adicciones al juego con licencia y certificados, el Programa de Conexión entre Pares del FCCG y mucho más. La ayuda y la esperanza están a solo una llamada o mensaje de texto de distancia.

Aquí hay algunas formas de ayudarte a ti mismo durante este difícil momento:

  • No te culpes a ti mismo: En primer lugar, debes saber que no eres culpable de la adicción de tu ser querido. Protegerte a ti mismo y a tu familia de más dificultades financieras es importante. Necesitas cuidarte y cuidar a tu familia. No tienes control sobre el jugador compulsivo, solo puedes alentarlo a buscar ayuda llamando a la Línea de Ayuda 888-ADMIT-IT; esta Línea de Ayuda también puede apoyarte a TI durante estos tiempos desafiantes.
  • Cuídate a ti mismo: Vivir con un jugador compulsivo puede poner una inmensa presión en una relación. Esto puede causar ansiedad, depresión y dolor. Un ser querido puede comer en exceso, beber en exceso o gastar en exceso como reacción al problema, intentando limitar el acceso del jugador al dinero agotando los ahorros, un enfoque destructivo por sí solo. Los seres queridos pueden incluso pensar que, si van a jugar con la persona afectada, pueden controlar mejor la situación, pero esto simplemente no es cierto. Es comprensible que te sientas perdido sobre qué hacer, y eso es natural. Por eso, la Línea de Ayuda 888-ADMIT-IT está lista y dispuesta a conectarte con una amplia gama de recursos que abordan casi todas las situaciones causadas por el juego problemático, todo sin sacrificar tus propias necesidades.
  • Céntrate en tu familia: En casos extremos, el juego compulsivo puede llevar a problemas financieros de emergencia que amenazan las necesidades básicas como la comida y la vivienda, especialmente preocupante cuando hay niños en el hogar. Si ya te encuentras en esta situación o temes estar cerca de ella, comunícate de inmediato con la Línea de Ayuda 888-ADMIT-IT para conectarte con recursos locales de vivienda temporal, bancos de alimentos y otros apoyos financieros de emergencia. Los impactos de la adicción al juego también pueden afectar la salud mental de un niño, ya que él o ella es testigo de discusiones familiares, tensión, violencia familiar o desintegración. Puedes apoyar emocionalmente a tus hijos alentándolos a compartir sus sentimientos cuando estén listos para hacerlo. Asegúrate de que sepan que no son responsables y céntrate en involucrarlos en actividades grupales y en sus pasatiempos favoritos.

Busca apoyo inmediato llamando o enviando un mensaje de texto a la Línea de Ayuda para Problemas de Juego 888-ADMIT-IT, que está disponible las 24 horas al día, 7 días a la semana, es Confidencial, Multilingüe y está atendida por especialistas altamente capacitados. Nunca es demasiado tarde ni demasiado pronto para comenzar tu propia recuperación como ser querido afectado por el juego compulsivo.

[1] “Safety and Protection.” Florida Department of Children and Families, www.myflfamilies.com/services/abuse. Accessed 30 Aug. 2023.

[2] “National Domestic Violence Hotline.” The Hotline, National Domestic Violence Hotline, 27 Apr. 2023, www.thehotline.org/.



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Roger and Lara Griffiths Lottery Winners ✔️ Full Story

An Aerial Photo of a Futuristic City with Highways


In this informative post, we will do a detailed exploration of everything that happened to Roger and Lara Griffith. Who are they, how their lives changed after winning the lottery, and we will see how quickly Lara and Roger lost everything. Feel free to use the panel below to quickly jump to a relevant section in the post.

Roger and Lara Griffith and Their Backstory

Before Roger and Lara won the lottery, they lived an ordinary life in England. Roger was an IT manager, earning £38,000, and living happily with Lara. She was an art teacher, and both supported each other. They lived in a four-bedroom ex-council house in Boston Spa and always paid their mortgage.

Lara and Roger had a happy life and always hoped to win the lottery. Roger regularly played with hopes of winning one day. Generally, life was going well for the Griffiths, but all that would change in 2005 when Roger pulled a winning lottery ticket and won £1.83 million from the National Lottery. He bought the ticket from a land-based location, as back in 2005, there wasn’t such a huge diversity of lottery sites in the UK.

Suddenly, Roger and Lara were millionaires. The result was that both quit their jobs soon after they won. An understandable decision, considering they were now millionaires. They were living the dream as one of the very few lucky winners of such a huge jackpot. We will cover what happens next further on in the post, as well as how things took a turn for the worst.

What Did the Couple Invest Their Money In?

The moment lottery winners Roger and Lara Griffth received the news that they were the lucky winners of the National Lottery in 2005, their whole lives would make a huge turn.

All in all, they spent over £15,000 in only ten days. They decided to buy an £800,000 barn conversion in the village of Waterbury, West Yorkshire. This was a huge barn, one that only millionaires could afford, and was their dream come true. Roger Griffiths, the lottery winner, soon bought a £28,000 Porsche Carrera to fill up one of the two garage spots, while Lara purchased a £24,700 Lexus 4×4. Later, they also purchased more vehicles, including a £18,000 soft-top Audi.

Both Lara and Roger went on many holiday vacation destinations like Dubai, New York, and Monaco, staying in five-star hotel suites. These vacations weren’t the only ones they attended, as they also visited numerous other top destinations to enjoy their millionaire lifestyle.

Obviously, every person has the right to spend their fortune in the way they wish to. Some make unreasonable purchases, while others spend wisely and invest. If you’d like to see another point of view and read another story, check out the lottery winner Jane Park article.

Lara Griffiths, the lottery winner, really liked shopping, so she bought handbags and many other luxurious items. A regular Saturday night that was an ordinary enjoyment of a movie plus a few beers turned into spending over £300 per night at One Aldwych. Roger had his teeth whitened and often bought very expensive designer clothes to represent his wealth.

As Roger loved rock, he decided to invest in his university rock band. They hired a publicist that cost him £1,000 per month and ended up recording only one single that sold 600 copies, costing him over £25,000. It was this way due to the rehearsals taking place in London. Even though the band had no success and didn’t meet Roger’s expectations, Lara was proud of him.

The couple bought even more properties in Wetherby, and one in Harrogate for over £200,000, with plans to sell them for a profit. However, the housing crash plummeted their investments. In only three years, their expenses surpassed over a million pounds.

And this is where things started to fall off. The once proud Lara accused Roger of overspending, and he accused her of doing the same. We will see where things took a turn for the worst in the next section.

Where It All Went Wrong

Here is the story of how Lara and Roger lost everything. Both realised that they were overspending and that in less than four years, Roger and Lara squandered their money. Over €1,1 million were lost, and the arguments and accusations started.

Lara blamed everything on Roger, as she claimed he was the one that wasted the fortune they had won. Everything started with a house fire on their main property in Wetherby, when a boiler ruptured and caused huge damages to their barn.

A City with Skyscrapers and Busy Traffic

Over €120,000 worth of repairs needed to be carried out, and the couple realised their money would soon be gone. This, according to Roger, was “the final straw of our marriage”. Roger said he was so overwhelmed and overly excited about becoming a millionaire that it took him over six months to get used to it. At that time, he has not realised that everything would fall apart and did not make any plans for smart investments. He thought, since he had that much, he didn’t need a job and that he and Lara were set for life.

The Couple’s Breakup, Accusations, and Blame

Another event occurred soon after when Roger and Lara’s relationship ended. She had found out that Roger was emailing another woman and soon accused him of being unfaithful. This was a claim that Roger dismissed, but it was the boiling point of their dying marriage.

Lara and Roger were not divorced yet, but that would follow soon after because both of them started constant arguments about their poor investment decisions. Lara was angry that Roger bought all these properties and cars and was disappointed about the large amount of money that went into his unsuccessful rock band.

She also claimed they had completely forgotten about their children, who were initially sent to very expensive private schools. They were worried they could not support them anymore, so the children were again moved back to their original public establishments. This, coupled with the crumbling of their planned investments to sell the properties because of the financial crisis, was when Roger and Lara’s relationship ended.

Two People Hugging in the Sunset

To his defence, Roger said that Lara was also overspending. Her art saloon needed to be sold as it was also not thriving, and he claims that she was needlessly organising trips to first-world countries and cities that were very expensive, with little thought put into the financial hit this would cause to them.

All in all, it turned out that being a lottery winner isn’t all good. They had a lovely life, never failed to pay their mortgage, and were able to support their children. Their jobs weren’t low paid, but the jackpot completely changed their lifestyle. Winning the lottery will do that, and many people do not feel sympathy for the Griffiths.

The couple had undergone many interviews by the media. After all, they were the popular winners of the National Lottery. Everybody knew about the Griffiths, and when news broke out that their life had fallen apart, the public’s opinion was negative. Roger and Lara did not work for this money – they got it by a lucky lottery win, and due to poor financial decisions, they lost it all.

What are Roger and Lara Doing Now?

What happened next is that the Griffiths took a devastating blow to a previously happy family. Lara currently still lives in the Wetherby barn conversion, and Roger still insists he pays for the mortgage, though this is not confirmed.

The Porsche was returned, and the many properties that they bought had to be sold at a loss. Although people did not feel much sympathy towards the Griffiths, it’s hard not to feel some for Roger. He did cause harm to the family with all this overspending, but he was left broken after their marriage fell apart and all the accusations Lara put on him. See the below list for a quick timeline of how the issues occurred:

  • ✔️ Roger won the lottery in 2005
  • 🔥 Roger spent £25,000 on his rock band
  • ✅ Lara and Roger started arguing
  • ☀️ Their children were moved to public schools
  • 👉 Lara blamed Roger for everything
  • ➡️ In 2011, Roger was left with just £7

Roger was in a thought circle of where it all went wrong and how he did not intend for any of this to happen. He stated that “the one thing that I did not want to do was to spend and squander all that money”, yet this is exactly what he did, along with Lara’s expensive purchases and vacations too.

Roger did not regret the years he had after the lottery win. He said that they were living the dream, the millionaire’s dream. Few experience such a luxurious lifestyle, and he thinks that every lottery winner should be able to experience it.

All in all, things did turn out to be bad for the Griffiths, as they could have spent their winnings in a much better way. This is the main reason the couple wasn’t well received by the public. If they had been smarter with their investments, been wary of the financial crisis, and put more thought into saving what they could, this could have been prevented.

Other Lottery Winners in the UK

Let’s have a look at some other lucky lottery winners in the UK. One of the most recent and biggest wins was in 2022 when Joe and Jess Thwaite claimed £184 million on a lottery draw that took place on the 10th of May. They wanted to stay anonymous, however, they finally revealed their identity during a press conference.

We must also mention the popular lottery winner Callie Rogers, who, back in 2003, had an ordinary life, living on only £3.60 per hour. Her life took a drastic turn when she won the Lotto Jackpot, earning a total of £1.87 million. We’ve compiled data of the top lottery winners in the UK below.

Biggest Lotto Wins in the UK
Name Sum
Joe and Jess Thwaite £184,262,899
Colin and Chris Weir £161,653,000
Adrian and Gillian Bayford £190,000,000
France Connolly and Patrick £114,969,775
‘Matt’ Matthew £500,000

These are our picks for the top lottery winners. No matter who you are, winning the lottery is surely a dream come true. As long as you keep track of your spending, of course. And for a detailed look at more lottery winners in recent times, see our page for the latest lottery winners around the world.

Frequently Asked Questions

In the section below, you’ll find quick answers to the segments discussed in the blog. We’ve covered the whole life after the lottery win of the Griffiths, and the most common inquiries are below. Use the links to quickly go to the relevant section of the blog post.

1️⃣ Who are Roger and Lara Griffiths?

The Roger and Lara Griffiths lottery winners used to live an ordinary life with stable jobs and two daughters. They were a happy family that owned a four-bedroom ex-council house in England, but all changed after they won the lottery in 2005. Roger and Lara quit their jobs and started living the lives of millionaires.

2️⃣ What did the couple do with the money?

The lottery winners, Roger and Lara Griffiths, were quick to start their spending spree. Among the many huge purchases, they bought a barn, several cars, and invested in even more properties. All in all, they could have made smarter investments.

3️⃣ How did the Griffiths lose everything?

Soon, the Griffiths realised that they were overspending. Roger was buying way too many properties and investing in an unsuccessful rock band, while Lara was constantly shopping and suggesting expensive vacations. They eventually got into many arguments, and their marriage broke up. Soon after, Roger and Lara’s relationship ended.

4️⃣ When did Lara and Roger Griffith win the lottery?

The year when everything changed for the Griffiths was 2005. They were living ordinary lives until that happy moment when Roger pulled the winning ticket. As we all know, they should have been more careful with their spending, and today, they are a good example for other lottery winners for how not to spend your winnings.

5️⃣ What are the Griffiths’ lives like now?

Roger and Lara had to say goodbye to their millionaire luxurious lifestyle. After many poor financial decisions, Lara had to move to the barn they initially bought, while Roger lives in a small cottage, with little to no money. Had the couple made smart financial decisions and not quit their jobs, things would have been different.



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Coping Skills for Loved Ones of Compulsive Gamblers |

Triple Corona y Los Apostadores en Recuperación


You are not alone! So many families, loved ones, and friends of problem gamblers can be severely mentally, physically, and financially impacted by this hidden addiction. It is crucial that you set boundaries and take care of yourself. Much like when you are watching the safety presentation on an airplane, they say for you to put your own mask on first, because you can’t help others without ensuring your own safety first. Read on to see what you can do for yourself to cope with the stress caused by this addiction and help support the problem gambler in finding recovery.

To begin, it is important to understand that this is not a battle between the loved one and the problem gambler. It’s a battle fought together against the addiction itself. It is important to understand that the addiction itself can dramatically change the behavior and demeanor of the compulsive gambler. You may have already been taken aback by these defense mechanisms acting out, like denial, shifting blame, manipulation, and the side effect of pathological lying. First and foremost, you must keep yourself safe while dealing with this person. The unfortunate reality is that problem gambling can also lead to family neglect and violence. This could mean threatening you verbally, physically, or actually getting violent by throwing things or hitting you. Abuse can also come in the form of gaslighting, meaning they lie or say things to you over and over again until you doubt yourself – simply put; manipulation. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233[1], the Florida Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-500-1119, and the Florida Abuse Hotline is 1-800-962-2873[2] – all are available 24/7. If you are in a situation where you fear for your safety, call 911.

Know that resources tailored to loved ones impacted by problem gambling are available any time of day or night in Florida through the 888-ADMIT-IT HelpLine. Experienced Specialists are standing by and ready to connect you with the GamAnon Self-Help Support Meetings for loved ones of problem gamblers, FCCG’s A Chance for Change Recovery Workbooks for Loved Ones, the FCCG’s Financial Debt & Budgeting Toolkit, counseling referrals from our network of licensed and certified gambling addiction treatment providers, the FCCG’s Peer Connect Program, and so much more. Help and hope are just a call or text away.

Here are a few ways to help yourself through this trying time:

  • Don’t blame yourself: First, you must know you are not to blame for your loved one’s addiction. Protecting yourself and your family from further financial hardships is important. You need to care for yourself and your family. You have no control over the compulsive gambler. You can only encourage the problem gambler to get help by calling the 888-ADMIT-IT HelpLine, and the HelpLine can also support YOU during these challenging times.
  • Take care of yourself: Living with a compulsive gambler can place immense strain on a relationship. This can cause anxiety, depression, and grief. A loved one may over eat, over drink, or over spend in reaction to the problem, attempting to limit the gambler’s access to money by depleting savings – a destructive approach on its own. Loved ones may even think if they go gamble with the affected individual, they can better control the situation, but this simply isn’t true. It is understandable that you may feel at a loss for what to do – and that’s natural. That’s why the 888-ADMIT-IT HelpLine is standing by and ready to connect you with a wide range of resources that address nearly every situation brought about by problem gambling, all without sacrificing your own needs.
  • Focus on your family: In extreme cases, problem gambling can lead to emergency financial problems that threaten basic needs like food and shelter, especially concerning when there are children in the household. If you are already in or fear you are nearing this situation, contact the 888-ADMIT-IT HelpLine immediately for connection to local resources for temporary housing, food banks, and other emergency financial supports. The impacts of gambling addiction can also take a toll on a child’s mental health, as he or she witnesses family arguments, tension, family violence, or breakdown. You can support your children emotionally by encouraging them to share their feelings when they are ready to do so. Be sure they know they are not responsible, and focus on engaging them with group activities and their favorite hobbies.

Reach out for immediate support by calling or texting the 24/7, Confidential, and Multilingual 888-ADMIT-IT Problem Gambling HelpLine, and get connected to resources from highly trained Specialists. It is never too late or too soon to begin your own recovery, as a loved one impacted by problem gambling.

[1] “Safety and Protection.” Florida Department of Children and Families, www.myflfamilies.com/services/abuse. Accessed 30 Aug. 2023.

[2] “National Domestic Violence Hotline.” The Hotline, National Domestic Violence Hotline, 27 Apr. 2023, www.thehotline.org/.



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